What is Happening?!

I very rarely see a film based on a majority WTF reaction. However I made an exception for M Night Shyamalamadingdong's The Happening (2008). I had heard so much negative reactions to this movie that I thought I must check this out for myself. I mean how bad could it really be? It's pretty bad.

Let me start out by saying that I thing Shyamalan is a good director. He understands the language of film and especially the language of horror. There are a couple of very creepy and creative scenes in The Happening that remind me why he is still a filmmaker. Specifically I am thinking of the scene where one person after another picks up the same gun and kills themselves with it, or the image of all the construction workers jumping to there death from the top of the building. I also understand why Shyamalan made the film; the concept of an unknown toxin resulting in people offing themselves is a pretty freighting concept.

Where to begin with where this film went wrong....... (breath). I don't understand what Shyamalan was watching when he saw his talent actors struggle so heavily with his cheesy, on the nose dialogue. He MUST have been coaching them to speak in those rhythms because everyone in the film does it. Maybe his mind set was to go all out with this being a B movie, then decided no, I want this to be real, but never changed the dialogue or the rhythm in which it was deliver. I just can't imagine anyone on set thought either the acting or exposition with the dialogue was good (If I was a PA on that set I could have been a hero by going up to Night and saying " Ummm..... maybe everyone should suck less). But instead I imagine the directors instructions to his lead actors to go something like this "ok mark, you're a scientist (giggle), yet you don't know what's going on, so I need you to look more confused. Zoey, you need to open your eyes wider, WIDER!!! And Action"

The love story between Wahlberg and Deschannel fell soooo flat, and I was really rooting for them to not make it as a couple (or live), because they would be horrible parents. (Spoiler) There is a scene at the end where they decide they love each other even though Zoey had tiramisu with a guy (fucking bitch), so how do they show their love, by meeting each other in the middle of a field even know they knew it would kill them (how Shakespearean). That is all well and good, but did you have to drag the little mute girl along with you to die! If I was that little girl I would have been bullshit. Are you serious!

For those people who are still interested in watching The Happening for comedy reasons there are a couple things I need to prepare you for. John Leguizamo has the best performance in the film, apparently if you walk into a lions den those lions become terrorist, Zoey Deschanel is very good at pointing out cars, and at one point about 3/4th of the way through the movie Mark Wahlberg figures out that the toxins are making people kill themselves and announces it out loud.

I don't revel in piling on top of the shit storm of reviews for The Happening but Shyamalan needs a kick in the balls. I loved Unbreakable and admired The Sixth Sense I refuse to give up on such a talented director, but please Night, don't make this mistake again.

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